BREAKING: Pickles Finally Nests in Menards
This is it, Reader, he made it! Pickles, who has been trying for months, has finally made it into his local Menards! Followers of the minor celebrity will recall this past March when he was forcibly removed from the Home Depot just down the road, but he's been planning and plotting, and really did it this time! Representatives of the local Menards had no comment on this amazing feat!
Our senior correspondent on the scene interviewed the shift manager, who had this to say:
"What? Yeah, sometimes birds make it in here. What do you mean? Who is Pickles?"
This is much needed good news following the eviction of Wingo Starr, who managed to lay a whole clutch while inside of a Sherman Paints shop. In such a political time for the avian community, this loss was felt far and wide.
But enough about all that, back to Pickles, an absolute fucking "G", am I right? This was no easy feat, considering the ungodly A/C and ventilation system they have at some of these stores. I don't know how he managed to do it, but I do know this: I'll rest easy now that I know Pickles can do the same.
[Updates as the story develops will be posted as the event unfolds.]