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Crab Review #2: Coconut Crab

Hello, Reader. It is with great pleasure that I present to you the second ever Crab Review here at The Bird Inspector. My original intent was to release one of these every month and clearly that never happened, but hey if I always stuck to my original intent I would've only had the one wife. Well Reader I'm sure you don't want to, or even have the time to, hear the tales of all my wives, present and past, so without further ado and minimal additional comments about my wives, let's continue.


Combat ProwessThe first category I like to rate these crabs in, simply titled "Combat Prowess", assess a few aspects about how the crab fights and from this score multiple things can be inferred. Mainly how much ass it kicks on a scale of 1-10. 1 being very little ass and 10 being a large amount of ass. These guys specifically are known to not fuck around. They have no natural predators except other coconut crabs, which is pretty metal, they have huge claws which can exert…

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