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Why They Must Die

 Hello, Reader. I find myself in a position to describe to you the woe of kiwi birds, or rather the woe that need be. It is likely in your mind the extended absence of myself, yet I refuse to give a shit about what you feel, think, say, or do. Furthermore fuck you. Is that too aggressive? Are you so sensitive? Well pardon me, Reader, that you come to my bird blog and beg my opinion on kiwis and why they must die rather than my forgiveness. Yet I proceed to give it to you, my forgiveness, and you must suckle from my forgiving teat. As you greedily suck, Reader, read on and observe of my desecration.  First and foremost I must mention the great weight that kiwis force on all minds, their name is a fruit. It is equal parts upsetting and unacceptable.   In their first sin, so damnable that it may frighten the elderly, pisses me off. I guarantee you, Reader, that the fruit certainly came first. I'm not sure why they could not think of a better name for themselves. Why not have a very di

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