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Describing The Bird With Me That Definitely Doesn't Have a Gun Right Now

Hello Reader! Jason Lee here with some more aviary info! Welcome back, it's been a long day without you. Today I have quite the read for you! I have a friend with me today, closely watching me as I write this article, and his name is Bird With No Gun. This bird 100% definitely does not have a gun on him right now, and is of course not at all pointing it at me. So without further ado, let's describe him in great detail! 

The Eyes
Well now, this bird has the eyes of a hawk. They reflect everything they see in a mirror world the same but opposite of our own (of course they do not reflect a gun, because Bird With No Gun definitely does not have a gun). These eyes are intense. A source of my own fear, more brilliant than the light of the moon, casting a veil upon our earth. This bird flew into the sky, and stole two stars for his own. They are dull suns, a pale explosion of light. Irises to rival those of the Fire God. No mercy to be found in the abyss of his pupils, no compassion or…

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