I Forgot National Bird Day
Hello, Reader. Welcome back to The Bird Inspector. If this is the first article you've ever read I would be both in shock that anyone reads this who isn't my mom or my next door neighbor, Mark, as well as sad to announce your unfortunate timing. I usually try to keep my articles pretty upbeat, but I really dropped the ball on this one. Since the September of 2018, when the single greatest bird website to ever exist was thrust into existence by myself and our ex-writer and site administrator, Riley, I was planning on making a post for National Bird Day, and Reader, I'm sorry to say that I've failed you for the second time in a row.
January 5th only comes once a year. One day out of the 365 to celebrate the animals that bring us all together, the animals that have brought you here today, and I missed it. For that I am truly sorry and I hope that my failure as a writer will not keep you away forever, but I do understand if you are a little mad. Honestly you can't really put all of the blame on me though. If you're such an avid fan of birds, so much so that you regularly visit a bird news website, I feel like it's a little bit on you for not saying anything to me about it. I have a Facebook page. You easily could have messaged me, or commented on my posts, "Hey are you excited? Bird day is right around the corner!" That would've really put a smile on my face, Reader, but no. What did you do? You sat there like a big idiot and did nothing while the rest of us suffered by letting the most important holiday in bird culture slip right under our noses, so I hope you're happy.
This article was written by Jacob 'The Big Dog' Brewer. (People don't actually call me 'The Big Dog', but it would be kinda cool if they did. I don't know, I guess the name doesn't really fit me. Like I'm not a very big dude. Well, I'm 6'4, or 6'4 and a half if you believe my doctor (which he's never really given me a reason not to, but it does feel kind of douchey to add the half because I'm already so tall, but I really do think I am 6'4 and a half. I wish I was just a solid 6'5. Jason is 6'5 because hes like half an inch taller than me, and as we're all aware at this point, I'm 6'4 and a half, so in that sense I suppose I'm a little jealous, but that's besides the point. My doctor is a nice guy), but I'm pretty skinny so I feel like the name 'Big Dog' doesn't really fit. Maybe if I started working out and got kinda buff, but I don't know, I'm already a busy guy, and I know a lot of people use that as an excuse, but I kinda see why. I mean I feel like I already work a lot and plus I don't know if being super buff really fits my vibe, but it would be pretty cool to have that nickname.)