Birds Have 3 Wings Now

 

Reader, I'm shocked to say the least. Two wings has been the default for birds for a very long time. Longer than I could remember. I can read of course and there are many books about birds. Some recently authored, others are older. I have read some old books about birds. This is because my grandpa has a lot of books about birds. When I look through his old bookshelves and I find one of those old books is about birds, man do I get excited. One time I even yelped! Prompting my grandfather to bear his cudgel. What a sorry soul was I. He was a mean old bastard and knew how to target my bad knee. Empathize with me for a moment, very few do. 

 

Onto the article. 

 

Three wings has been a long time in the making. It's something we have all wanted and certainly been discussing in bird circles for quite awhile. The two greatest appendages observed of birds so far has been right and left wings. No surprise number three was not far behind. Did I personally expect or champion this change? Did I talk endlessly about the tremendous impact it would have on bird inspecting culture? Did I tirelessly whittle a maraca so large in proportion 4-5 birds could be shoved inside, proceed to shove 4-5 birds inside it, then shake it around in a morbid, horrific, immoral vanity project to create the first bird-based instrument, and submit a video if it to Guinness World Records? It's hard to say. Honestly I've been all over the place lately. 

How greedily we have pursued pleasure, three wings. Ha. Shamefully perverse in many ways. We have tainted a beautiful thing (birds) with our ideas of perfection. It is most likely, Reader, this third wing is not making them any better at flying. And thus perhaps it's better for us to turn our eye to the birds themselves, target not our ire upon our own ego, but upon the wretched creatures who have grown these affronts to God and nature.

 

Anywho, always a pleasure to keep you updated with the latest and greatest on bird news around the world!

 

Jacob