New Species of Bird with One Million Eyes
Hello, Reader. It makes me feel both accomplished and appreciated to see that you are here. Now I know I might be giving you too much credit for just clicking your mouse and wasting your time, but if you had to do it somewhere, I'm glad you chose to do it here.
Anyway, onto more pressing matters. Now I know what you're thinking, Reader, "Does this bird really have 1 million eyes?" Short answer: it's quite possible. Long answer: I'm not entirely sure. By my count I see 11, but the tricky thing, Reader, is that they imply the existence of at least 11 more. A normal bird has one eye on each side of its head, so if you were to only see one eye you would assume there would be another eye on the other, yes? So by this train of logic we're looking at a bird with at least 22 eyes and, if you're still following me, we can only see, I don't know, about 20% of this bird. No one can know for sure just how many eyes this dude has, but when it comes to birds, the sky is the limit!
Thank you for reading, shithead.