THUNK: How to Stop Flying Into Windows

Greetings, Reader! I was doing a lot of thinking (if you can believe that) and I realized that a lot of our readers on this, the most reputable source of bird news in human history, are probably birds. Then I asked myself, "Why am I spending so much time writing articles for humans when there is an untapped market sitting right under my nose?" And thus the idea for this article was born. So my avid avian audience, I present to you some tips to help you avoid flying into windows.

1. Look Harder
This may seem obvious to our human readers, but for the birds apparently it's not. It seems like if you were to maybe just look a little harder you would be able to avoid them. I don't really know what else to say here.

2. Use Common Sense
Now Reader, as much as I wish I did, I've never had the power of flight. I'm sure its very distracting and you get to see a lot of cool things, but come on. What did you think was going to happen? You started flying towards a building (already kind of a bad idea) and then what? What did you think? "Oh perfect! A little hole for me to fly through." It just seems ridiculous to me. 

I've compiled a flowchart that you can use while you fly. If you follow it perfectly then you should never hit a window again, I really can't think of a way to spell it out to you more than like this: 

Acquaint yourself with this chart and it's outcomes, Reader. And remember to fly safe!

This article was brought to you by Jacob Brewer. If you would like more information about our authors, navigate to the 'About Us' section.


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