Pet Store Birds: Vicious


Hello, Reader. I'm so glad to be back. For the majority of 2020 I had very little faith in anything. That included Bird Inspector. I found myself launching on a long downward spiral after my last article. There were days where I thought I would never know comfort or safety again. I always liked to drink, but it was nothing like where I was last August. That was probably my lowest month ever. But after the holiday season I'm feeling much better and ready to get back to my true passion: writing articles on my bird blog. 

Today, Reader, I would like to inform you about these three birds. The picture I took of them was inside my local pet store. They have very good lighting Reader, very good lighting indeed. Such good lighting in fact that I was able to use a photo editing software to put an out of focus nature background behind them. I bet you didn't even notice. Well actually I wont bet on anything for the time being.* Regardless of who's betting on what or if Idontknow Who is on 3rd, what I'm here to do today, Reader, is tell you about these birds. Firstly, I will say they are rude. I am a very frequent patron at my local pet store, or lps for those of us in the community, which I am, Reader, so I always go to see the new birds every time they come in, but today Reader I should've just stayed home. Upon my arrival to the store I walked over to the section titled 'Feathered Friends'. Ha! What a title indeed. Then I spotted these three birds on a faux** tree branch, Reader, and that's when I decided to take a picture of them. I then made what only can be described as a yelp of joy followed by a few clucking sounds. It was either the noises I made or my swift flurry of hand motion towards the birds that prompted the insinuating biting of my finger and subsequent chortling from the birds. "Ouch!" I exclaimed, "Are you sticking your hand in the bird cage again?" I shouted. I knew that if the store manager saw or heard me that's what he was going to say. After he didn't respond and I ran out into the street. I'm currently typing this article with seven fingers as I never use my thumbs and my bandaged wound from the bird store encounter is still healing. Until next time, Reader. 

*Gambling is one of my vices and my life coach will be mad at me if I do

**French for false or fake

This article was written by Jacob Brewer


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